The Chemically Altered Life

Caffeinated Soap

This is a caffeinated soap. It is purpotedly “infused with caffeine anhydrous, each bar of Shower shock contains approximately 12 servings/showers per 4 ounce bar with 200 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we’re not kidding and no you don’t eat it. The caffeine is absorbed through the skin”.

So the modern human wakes up to a double-shot espresso (with sacharrine instead of sugar – reduced calories, you know), coupled with this mind-awakening shower, takes a Prozac with breakfast to feel charged up, head up to office, more lattes and coffees to remain perky, and finally comes back home, uses aromatherapeutic bath lotions to wind down and relax, listens to slow jazz in ambient-controlled lighting and temperature, does yoga and meditate to give the mind a peaceful serenity, before popping a sleeping pill to slumber in magnetic mattresses that improves the body energy field. Next morning, the cycle repeats.

What a life!

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